Motivation Monday: Ban Negative Self-Talk
Remember when you were little and wanted to be an astronaut or movie star or climb to the top of Mount Everest? And then, gradually and unconsciously, those dreams disappeared, right along with your ability to dream. Dreams were replaced with doubt, and your brain encouraged you to stay small, blend in, quit rocking the boat. Our unique life experiences determine the exact nature of the self-limiting beliefs we acquire, but we each get our own dose. Wisdom and success comes from recognizing that the only thing holding us back are our thoughts and then doing the dirty-work to overcome them and re-instill our ability to dream.
Examples of self-limiting beliefs working on you:
- Allowing others to make decisions for you because you doubt yourself
- Deciding not to go for a really great opportunity because you doubt you can do it
- Feeling jealous or angry about the success of others
- Keeping quiet and not sharing your ideas or input, because you’ll just sound dumb
Guess what? Most of us have done or felt one or all of the above at some point in our lives, or even now. Luckily, awareness is key. Once you KNOW that your mind is feeding on self-defeating thoughts, you can dig a little deeper and figure out where these thoughts originated, and then banish them by acting in complete opposition to them. All you need to do is get out of your own way. You won’t move forward until you move your biggest stumbling block, which is you. And this is good news, because you can change you.
How do you get out of your way?
- Recognize that thoughts are not you. If you’ve been living on auto-pilot, you may have let some very unhelpful thoughts dig deep grooves into your brain, but you can catch the thoughts when they pop up and gently remind yourself that a pattern wants to replay itself, and you aren’t going to let it.
- Show up anyways. Show up even when your brain is telling you that you aren’t good enough, or that there’s no use, or that someone else will be better than you, so why try?
- Set one goal a day and concentrate on doing that one thing well. Yes, there may be a lot you still do not know, but you will never get the opportunity to learn these things if you give up now.
- Stop focusing on “what if’s” or obstacles that may or may not ever exist. Focus on what you can do today that will make you better than you were yesterday. That’s it.
- Stop assuming you know what other people are thinking. You don’t know. There is much higher likelihood they are thinking about what’s for dinner or what they are doing this weekend than they are about you.
- Surround yourself with positive people who do great things and believe you can do great things, too. If you have positive energy vampires, limit your time with them.